HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH look what my H_E secret buddy made for me. I can't stop giggling!

( Under here! )

Seriously, out of ten years of episodes, that is hands-down, no-contest, no-holds-barred, my favorite scene they ever did. Joey just looks so SERIOUS. :D :D :D

IN OTHER NEWS!!! I need a serious beta for the hermionebigbang fic what I wrote - and this is not a "check my grammar plz" sort of beta, this is a "this entire scene makes no sense and WTF were you thinking HERE" sort of beta. It's 40K, Dramione, historical romance - any possible takers? *bats eyelashes at the internets*

01. Let's just get this out of the way right off. Mr. Felton? *whistle* Damn, he's growing up well. Does not help my adoration of floppy-haired blonds at all.

02. H_E is having a secret buddy exchange, and I have totally got a very cool buddy, who has made me the most delightful drawing of a kitty evar! Looks a little like my Siamese, I have to say. :D

03. And speaking of H_E, GREAT BIG HUGS AND STAGE KISSES to the Ravenclaws, who voted me favorite Slytherin for term 16. You guys, that was such a big surprise, and it made me smile so huge.



ADORE YOU ALL, and thank you thank you to whoever nominated and/or voted for meeeeeeeeeee. :D

04. I finished my hermionebigbang fic, for various values of finished. Let's say it's submitted, and there's a beginning, middle, and end somewhere in those 40,000 words. >.> I'm kinda worried about this piece, because it's a very particular genre, - historical romance, Regency - and it's a genre that gets made fun of a lot. There's a few clichés and tropes that could possibly get poked at, but I'm trying very hard not to imagine snickering, because dammit, I am unabashedly unashamed about the funtimes involved in my Regency books. So if I want to write a Dramione Regency romance, I will. Nyah.

05. Fest/exchange roundups!
FINISHED THIS YEAR:
wizard_love - Lucius/Narcissa, posted here.
hp_beholder - Draco/Millicent, posted here.
hp_rarities - Lucius/Narcissa, posted here - WARNINGS ON FIC.
hp_porninthesun - Draco/Hermione, Bellatrix/Draco, posted here - WARNINGS ON FIC.
hp_summersmut - Posting will begin August 1.
hermionebigbang - Rough draft submitted, posting will be September 19.
smrw_ficafest - Final edits and tweaks in progress, extension due Wednesday, posting will be July 22.
SIGNING UP FOR:
hp_triangle
hermione_smut

... Goddamn, I'm doing a lot of writing this year. WOOT.

06. Over the past year, my writing has changed a lot. When I first started out a few years ago, I thought a piece was long if it hit 3K. Now I find myself just getting started at that half the time. HBB is 40K currently, Dragon's Blood was 17K, Stockholm was 19K. How did this happen to me? I have no idea, but I find it fascinating. I still get all worried and wibbly at myself that my plots suck, but people seem to like them? I dunno. I'm having fun.

07. And speaking of wibbliness - I am not the sort of author who seems to get a lot of recognition. I'm not commonly mentioned on rec posts, I don't get linked in the newsletters and nominated for awards very often, people don't spontaneously make art for me, I don't get many comments, and really, a lot of times, I feel like I'm just not noticed. It dances on my self-esteem, making me wonder if the problem's my writing, my frequency, me, any host of things. I keep going, of course, but sometimes I just wonder.

But y'know, the past couple of weeks, several people have mentioned me in passing, and I really want to thank you folks. luxleviathana and mindchill, it gave me a giggle to see you mention my writings in your H_E buddy signups. terravayne, I was so chuffed to see you put Dragon's Blood on your rec list. bambu345 and bunney, your little discussion in the comments of my Hermione/Snape ficlet made me so very happy, you can't imagine. And my darling itsbeenvery, you have some sort of telepathic connection and always manage to send me an email or a comment just when I need it most.

I always appreciate such things, but I really needed them this month, and y'all made things so much better for me. I just wanted to do a little shout-out and thank you. *snurgs*

ETA. 08. HOLY CRAP, I just got a new monitor, and it's 1440x900 and OH MY FUCKING WIDESCREEN GOD. *marvels in awe*

I have to take care of my aunt's kitten this weekend, which means that my usual nocturnal wake schedule is getting thrown a bit off. Hence why I'm awake at this hour. I have consumed a massive amount of coffee in order to be awake at this hour, and that much caffeine in my system leads me to bad places.

Bad filking places.

With my deepest, deepest apologies to JK Rowling, the Bryant estate, and the state of Tennessee.

Bella's Lament

Wish that I was out of Azkaban
Away from this prison cell
Ain't no light or joy in Azkaban
Just the Dementors' yells
Death Eaters have filled up Azkaban
Since my dear Master died
But I know we'll escape from Azkaban
And then that brat will fry
Azkaban, I'll get away
And soon they all will pay
Sod off, Azkaban
Prison in the North Sea
Prison in the North Sea

Fandom: Harry Potter
Title: And We Change With Time
Pairing: Lucius Malfoy/Narcissa Malfoy
Rating: NC17
Warnings: Character death, graphic violence.
Word Count: 2500
Status: Complete.
Disclaimer: I am not the original author or creator of this universe or the canon characters present, and I do not make any claim to copyright, property, or profit.
Notes: Originally written for ladylucius for hp_rarities 2009.
Summary: There are points in every person's life where the future rests on the choices of the past. Most who have made the wrong choices never get to make up for their mistakes. Narcissa Malfoy has the chance to correct her future.
On Livejournal.
On Dreamwidth.
---

Fandom: Harry Potter
Title: Occluded
Pairing: Draco Malfoy/Hermione Granger, Draco Malfoy/Bellatrix Lestrange
Rating: NC17
Warnings: Bloodplay, incest, graphic violence, rape.
Word Count: 2600
Status: Complete.
Disclaimer: I am not the original author or creator of this universe or the canon characters present, and I do not make any claim to copyright, property, or profit.
Notes: Originally written for scarletladyy for hp_porninthesun 2009.
Summary: She thought she knew his fantasies when she reached into his mind, but he learned his lessons well.
On Livejournal.
On Dreamwidth.

Ficlet prompt #4! For vashka_kat, who requested Draco/Hermione and a highlighter. I couldn't help myself, Photoshop was RIGHT THERE.

Fandom: Harry Potter
Title: Correspondence
Pairing: Draco/Hermione
Rating: R
Warnings: None.
Word Count: 275 plus art!
Status: Complete.
Disclaimer: I am not the original author or creator of this universe or the canon characters present, and I do not make any claim to copyright, property, or profit.
( Correspondence )

Me: I think I'll go for a drive. It's a lovely day, the sun's not so blindingly bright it will damage my inheritance of the throne of the Pale Pasty People, and I'm hungry. Think I'll drive 25 minutes to Subway. Just let me get my CDs.
Poison: *talks dirty to me*
Car: *revs*
Bee: *lurks in the rear window*
Me: ... I feel a disturbance in the force.
Poison: *drags the cat in*
Car: *revs*
Bee: *crawls ALONG THE CEILING to lurk on the passenger window*
Me: ... I have a bad feeling about this.
Poison: *bops unskinnily*
Car: *revs slightly slower because there's always a state trooper hiding over the hill*
Bee: *crawls into my peripheral vision*
Me: ... I am calm, I am zen, it's just a bee. Just a bee in the car. It's not hurting anyone. One of the most common causes of car accidents is a distracted driver, and this bee will not distract me. This isn't the sting he's looking for.
Poison: *doesn't dance with your mama*
Car: *has no automatic windows, the bastard*
Bee: ... ... ... ... *bzzz*
Me: SWEET FUCK IT'S A KILLER PULL OVER RIGHT THIS SECOND HOLY CHRIST IT'S A BEE GET OUT OF THE CAR THIS IS BEE COUNTRY PULL OVER PULL OVER PULL OVER AUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH
Poison: *shuts up*
Car: *shuts up*
Bee: ... ... ... ... *bzzz* *wing flap, escape through one of the SUDDENLY open doors*
Me: *flails like a six year old girl, gives up on being OUTDOORS WHERE THERE ARE BEES, and goes home*
Poison: *has nothin' but a good time*


So how was your day?

Ficlet #3, for luxleviathana! Request, Sheldon and ST:XI. And yes, I did test all of those in Twitter to make sure they were under 140 characters.

Fandom: The Big Bang Theory
Title: Selections From the Twitter Feed Of A Theoretical Physicist
Character: Sheldon Cooper
Rating: PG
Word Count: 400
Status: Complete
Disclaimer: I am not the original author or creator of this universe or the canon characters present, and I do not make any claim to copyright, property, or profit.

( Selections )

Ficlet prompt #2! For rowena742 who requested McCoy and pliers. XD

Fandom: Star Trek (Reboot)
Title: Four Catchphrases Doctor Leonard "Bones" McCoy Tested Out and the One That Finally Stuck
Characters: McCoy, Kirk, Scotty, various redshirts
Rating: PG
Word Count: 750
Status: Complete.
Disclaimer: I am not the original author or creator of this universe or the canon characters present, and I do not make any claim to copyright, property, or profit.

( Catchphrases )

Ficlet written to prompt, number one! For kshandra, who requested Abby on a roller coaster. Had to make it a crossover for you, m'dear, and I do apologize if I've got Grissom a little off, but it's been a long time since I've watched that show.

Fandom: NCIS/CSI
Title: The Bat
Characters: Abby Sciuto, Gil Grissom
Rating: G
Word Count: 860
Status: Complete
Disclaimer: I am not the original author or creator of this universe or the canon characters present, and I do not make any claim to copyright, property, or profit.

( The Bat )